You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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