She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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