How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
