He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
