Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
