The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
