Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
and you fell through a lawn chair
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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