Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
