All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
