I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
