a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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