do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
