i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
