Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
