At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Randomize
