its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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