So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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