This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
