did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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