I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
