So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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