I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
