So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize
