I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
