I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
