Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I did not marry a roomba.
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