Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
