you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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