He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
