He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
