I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
