Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
