it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I can't put those talents on a resume
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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