the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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