it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My pussy is not your playground.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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