You made me cry and you don't even care
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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