woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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