Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
