No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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