I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
