am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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