No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
