Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
