the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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