you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize