Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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