Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize