never play flip cup with pint glasses
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
