bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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