You made me cry and you don't even care
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
