Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize