I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
