he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
COCAINE IS GR8
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
