you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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