he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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