I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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