from now on my penis is your penis
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Your penis caused this!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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