A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You took a bar mat shot.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I love you.
Bad choice
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
