We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
