Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize