My friends, they love my intelligence
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
ugly people sure do ruin things
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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