before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
