Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
