scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
