I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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