"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Randomize
