so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize