Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
