Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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